Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Toon fans disgrace themselves - What Do You Think?

The Boro Six turn their attention to the disgusting idiots who spent their weekend racially abusing Mido.

Wally Peyton's comment is genius though.


Friday, 24 August 2007

Middlesbrough vs Newcastle: Tale of the Tape

"TotT had wondered why the club had decided to suit Skippy up in one of the most revoltingly lurid goalkeeping ensembles of the 21st Century, when it all became clear what its purpose was: to distract linesmen from spotting when the ball has crossed the line. Well done, then, to whichever member of the Errea design team that came up with that canary yellow piece of crap.

Speaking of pieces of crap.. No, we jest, Steve Harper's quite good."


Monday, 20 August 2007

Mido makes successful debut - What Do You Think?

This week, the Boro Six paw their way through Mido's goal-scoring debut for Boro.

Funny stuff, as ever.


Sunday, 19 August 2007

The Verdict in today's Observer

My verdict on Boro's 2-1 win at Craven Cottage yesterday and our signing of Mido is covered in my piece in today's Observer.

You'll have to buy a paper to read it, unfortunately.

Friday, 17 August 2007

Mickey Mouse trying to top himself

Here's an amazing cartoon strip from the 1930s that features Mickey Mouse trying to kill himself.



Fulham vs Middlesbrough: Tale of the Tape

"The Egyptian revolution begins here. Ahmed Hossam Hussein Abdelhamid is the first Egyptian to join Gareth Southgate's side and will, apparently, be followed shortly by Emad Moteab and Mohammed Shawky.

Now, ignoring all evidence to the contrary (rubbish goal-scoring record, Andrew Davies levels of ineptitude last season for Spurs, a track record of falling out with coaches and team-mates..) TotT is quite excited by what Mido might offer Middlesbrough.

That said, Southgate will probably replace him with Lee Cattermole after fifty-five minutes.

David Healy, alongside Michael Chopra, Antoine Sibierski, Obafemi Martins and Benjani Mwaruwari is currently the Premiership's top scorer. A ridiculous state of affairs, since they're all shit."


Wednesday, 15 August 2007

Wigan vs Middlesbrough: Tale of the Tape

"After Saturday's loss to Blackburn, DJ Downing was letting off some steam on the wheels of steel at The Purple Onion, rounding off his set with a trademark 26-minute remix of Follow The Leader by Eric B & Rakim, when who should walk in accompanied by his 18-strong entourage, than Wigan Athletics' Jason Koumas.

"Oi Downing," Koumas shouted, "What the fuck is this shit? Get that bollocks off and let's have some Fedde Le Grand."

Over the PA, DJ Downing shouted back, "DJ Downing doesn't do requests, you West Brom fuck," leading one of Koumas' heavies to throw a vodka and orange at the DJ booth.

Thankfully, Downing's record collection was unharmed.

This one could get ugly."


Monday, 13 August 2007

Yakubu out, Mido in? - What Do You Think?

Once again, Red Eye brings the goods.

This stuff is seriously funny.


Sunday, 12 August 2007

The Verdict in The Observer

My take on yesterday's home defeat to Blackburn is in the sports section of today's Observer.

No linkage, so you'll have to read the paper to find it.

Friday, 10 August 2007

Tale of the Tape

Following in the footsteps of my good friend Gordon Dalton, I'm going to be writing the Tale of the Tape feature for ComeOnBoro.com for the foreseeable future.

Here's my first effort

Sunday, 5 August 2007

2007-08 season preview in The Observer

Flick through the sports section of today's Observer and you'll find my take on what the forthcoming season has in store for Boro.

The Observer don't supply linkage, so here it is, lovingly retyped....

"Despite the predictable departure of a certain heavy-set Australian, our first team looks in marginally ruder health than last term. Securing Jonathan Woodgate was essential and Luke Young is a smart acquisition, while Jeremie Aliadiere and Tuncay Sanli should add some much needed pace to our attack. All that said, one can't help thinking that even LA's latest socialite would be jealous of how thin our squad is.

ONE TO WATCH Tuncay Sanli looks the business on YouTube, but, then again, so did Lee Dong-Gook.
BOO-BOY He might take good penalties but Yakubu's lazy gait means he's an increasingly divisive player.
HATE FIGURE Local pie vendors might rejoice when Viduka returns to the Riverside, but the fans certainly won't.
CHAMPIONS The Roman empire strikes back - Chelsea.
GOING DOWN Derby, Birmingham, Wigan"

Thursday, 2 August 2007

Red Eye's back

I thought this might have been a one season wonder. Thankfully it isn't.

Every single comment this week is comedy gold.