Century FM Simply Red phone in

I'm going to be speaking to Alastair Brownlee and Bernie Slaven on Century FM's Simply Red show in about an hour. We'll be chewing over yesterday's mauling at Old Trafford and the rather crap run of results that Boro find themselves on at the moment.

If you're on Teesside, you'll find Century at 100.7FM, or you can listen online.

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Manchester United vs Middlesbrough: Tale of the Tape

"While Wayne Rooney spent his week scoring against Dynamo Kiev, Mido spent the week carving hundreds of Jack-O'-Lanterns for local hospices.

His good work done, he collected all the leftovers and made himself a bloody great pumpkin pie. The fat get."

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New London Underground security posters

Hard to believe but this is a geniue photo of the new posters up around the London Underground network.

The brazeness of the chumps who designed and sourced these posters is sad and scary in equal measure.

Middlesbrough vs Chelsea: Tale of the Tape

"Not even Tale of the Tape loves rugby as much as DJ Downing. Ever since England's brilliant win over the USA, Downing has been playing Swing Low Sweet Chariot, Jerusalem and God Save The Queen non-stop in the dressing-room through his iPod speakers.

Florent Malouda tried to do the same in the Chelsea dressing room with La Marseillaise but Frank Lampard shoved Malouda's head down the toilet, shat on him and then made him drink seven pints of sick. Hey, this is what rugby boys like us do, okay?"

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Mermaid & Monster launch

My friend Gordon Dalton and his co-director Richard Higlett have set up a new UK contemporary art agency called Mermaid & Monster, which makes its public debut tonight.

Whilst Mermaid & Monster launched online earlier this year, their public debut will be held at Year 07, the contemporary art fair at the former Saatchi Gallery in County Hall, London tonight.

According to their press release, Mermaid & Monster "will be showcasing their increasing roster of artists including Peter Finnemore (who represented Wales at the Venice Biennale 05), sculptor Sean Edwards, Helen Sear, Lloyd Durling, video works from Michael Cousin and Anthony Shapland, and provocative works from Paul Becker and Miranda Whall".

Year 07 is running from 11th to 14th October. You can find out more about the event here and more about Mermaid & Monster here.

Manchester City vs Middlesbrough: Tale of the Tape

"Inconceivably, Elano is a year older than Rochemback. But while Elano has an entire team built around his ability to dictate play, the only thing Rocky has ever had built around him is an extra supportive girdle for his big, fat belly."

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Pluto goes crazy at Disneyland